Conscious sexual fetish taxonomy

This post is about sexual themes; it quotes someone else’s blog post about oral sex, and briefly comments on the fact that I found that it seemed to provide a division of the possible conscious motivations for eroticizing something.

Due to incidental circumstances, I was sent the text A Fluffer’s Guide to Blowjobs, by the author known as Chesed, who outlines her credentials to speak on that topic near the beginning of her post. Most of the post is about the actual mechanics of oral sex, which I cannot evaluate. However, the first section of the ‘guide’ outlines possible motivations for the pursuit of perfection at this craft, and I have some thoughts about why I found that section interesting, which I will give after I quote the section in full.

Step 1: If possible, eroticize blowjobs

It is hard to be good at things you hate. Eroticizing blowjobs makes practice (key to any skill acquisition) more fun and also inherently makes the blowjobs hotter. If you take nothing else away from this guide, please remember that actually being into blowjobs = better blowjobs. Watching porn or reading erotica that centers blowjobs or facefucking may be helpful, but I think the key is figuring out how blowjobs/facefucking can fit into your favorite erotic themes and dynamics.

A few ideas:

• Submission: You are sucking his cock because he wants you to. Good girls/slaves suck cock and you’re a good girl/slave. Be a good girl and open up your throat for your Master/husband/boyfriend/Daddy. Show him how much you love his cock. Let your Master/husband/boyfriend/Daddy have your mouth.
• Sluttiness/mild degradation: You are sucking his cock because you’re a slut. You love having cock in your throat. You’re going to come with a cock in your mouth. Show him what a good slut you are.
• Degradation: You are sucking his cock because that’s what your mouth is for. Talking isn’t important. Breathing isn’t important. Your mouth is made to take cock. You’re a dirty little slut/whore and you need to show that you understand your place by taking his cock deeper.
• Love/passion: You are sucking his cock because you love him. You respect him and fully accept him. You want to make him feel amazing. You want to see the look on his face when he comes inside your mouth. You love the taste of him on your tongue. You want to be so close to him that you need part of his body inside yours. You want to show him how much you love him.
• Worship: You are sucking his cock as an act of worship. You look up to him adoringly. Your cock sucking has almost a spiritual or ritual quality. You are so grateful you have such a stunningly perfect cock to taste, feel, smell, and look at. You love that this is a way to show your devotion and reverence to him.
• FemDom: You are sucking his cock because you want to. You like how desperate he is for it, the little noises he makes, the wild look in his eyes. He’s a full grown man and you’re just a small woman, but you are in control. He would do whatever you asked him to do right now. Maybe you’ll make him come if he’s a very, very good boy. Maybe you’ll just stop when you get bored.

Consider the six motivations here. Let us abstract from the act of giving a blowjob, and also let us allow the “femdom” motivation to stand for domination in general, since I think a sexually dominant male would also think similarly about the same act if he were to perform it. Then let us abbreviate each of these six motivations with a letter: S for submission, D for domination or femdom, L for love, W for worship, T for sluttiness (since S is taken) and H for degradation (which may be glossed as “humiliation” or “hardcore degradation”, again only because D is taken).

Then what I think is interesting is that, although the section only purports to give “a few ideas” on how to motivate eroticization of the act, I believe that it fully exhausts all conscious motivations for finding an act erotic.

To explain further, it is possible that you find an act erotic in a purely sensory way, which is most plausible with such things as bondage or sadomasochism, where there is a peculiar physical sensation of pain or immobility which you can enjoy without having any theory about it in your mind, even vaguely or confusedly or implicitly. But if you are consciously eroticizing something, I think all other motivations reduce to a combination of these six. For instance, if you were to consciously eroticize being the one tied up in a bondage scene, you might explain it as S or W (being tied up is giving up control, and you may consider it in that sense submissive or worship-like), T (being tied up is slutty), H (being tied up is degrading), or L (being tied up is something you can only do with someone you trust not to hurt you, so it’s an act of love). It does not seem that being tied up is conceivably a dominant (D) act, but people vary; what seems even less plausible to me, however, is that some motivation totally different from these six would be sought.

Other fetishes seem similar. Some, such as cuckoldry or fetishes involving urine or feces, seem to be clearly mostly about H, but the other motivations may also be involved.